rice is hard

(the university , too)



i can whip up bombass lasagna, lemon chicken w/ a pinch of garlic, and fried chicken made of special K cereal, but when it comes to rice, i just fuck it up. it turns out burnt and undercooked-how does that happen? i mean, really. i follow directions(sorta), but i refuse to believe that's it. there has to be some trick yo' mama taught you. my mom says there isn't a trick, but im convinced i had this fairy god mother who put a curse on me...the curse being, "her rice will be damn'd--forever!" [insert lightening] .anyhoo, my fairy godmother was upset w/ my mother b/c she didn't invite her to my baptism! mmhmm! i also believe in unicorns...but i digress.

someone please find me a toad frog prince.