my crush

so i have this crush. and luckily, he's just too cool to be on facebook. no, really, he is. i dont think he even has an email account. too cool i tell you. actually, ive had this crush for years now and even shared a drunken kiss with him, but me being the dork I am, avoided him since that moment. he makes me nervous and i turn into this really awkward person who trips, nods head when he asks " how are you?", and just completely speechless. me? speechless? impossible' you thought? ha!

ive avoided him b/c it became too real. and im a weird girl. i prefer fantasy. he's almost like a character actually. he walks cool. he dresses cool . has a cool accent (and i dont even like most accents) and, of course, he's beautiful. but kinda in a unconventional way- see? even his genes are too cool to conform. i can't even make eye contact b/c i turn red. pathetic, i know.

so until last week, i fooled myself into thinking i was completely over him. and then...i see him playing pool at this bar. yes, this is a re-make of the film 16 Candles ...only im black and 26. yeah, so i see him and, of course, immediately turn away. moments later i feel this tap on my shoulder [cues cheesy music and halo effect]. it was him. he smiles with a "hey, how are you?" and before i could do my usual nodding head, some chick pulls him away. i wave bye, but then he comes towards me, kisses my cheek, and then finally submits to that aggressive girl. [exhales] in my fantasy, he completely rejects the girl, kisses me and everyone in the bar stands up and cheers.

but i can live with the reality..