my crush

so i have this crush. and luckily, he's just too cool to be on facebook. no, really, he is. i dont think he even has an email account. too cool i tell you. actually, ive had this crush for years now and even shared a drunken kiss with him, but me being the dork I am, avoided him since that moment. he makes me nervous and i turn into this really awkward person who trips, nods head when he asks " how are you?", and just completely speechless. me? speechless? impossible' you thought? ha!

ive avoided him b/c it became too real. and im a weird girl. i prefer fantasy. he's almost like a character actually. he walks cool. he dresses cool . has a cool accent (and i dont even like most accents) and, of course, he's beautiful. but kinda in a unconventional way- see? even his genes are too cool to conform. i can't even make eye contact b/c i turn red. pathetic, i know.

so until last week, i fooled myself into thinking i was completely over him. and then...i see him playing pool at this bar. yes, this is a re-make of the film 16 Candles ...only im black and 26. yeah, so i see him and, of course, immediately turn away. moments later i feel this tap on my shoulder [cues cheesy music and halo effect]. it was him. he smiles with a "hey, how are you?" and before i could do my usual nodding head, some chick pulls him away. i wave bye, but then he comes towards me, kisses my cheek, and then finally submits to that aggressive girl. [exhales] in my fantasy, he completely rejects the girl, kisses me and everyone in the bar stands up and cheers.

but i can live with the reality..

the hills

so last night episode...i'm a bit underwhelmed and annoyed. and usually the preview for next week's episode redeems things for me, but no, not this time...maybe b/c they are showing the same clips they've been showing the past 3 months...oh, except for the addition of stephen and one frame of brody's gf. im insulted. really. ok, to the writers of the hills ... let's not try to redo clips from the season finale of sex and the city. it's just tacky. i mean even lauren's " hellio paris" sounds alot like carrie bradshaw's " hello lover". if you're not a fan or don't know what the hell im talkin about, youtube it. and the usage of "la belle et le bad boy" which was also played on the finale of sex and city. oh, and your dress and earrings were a lil too familar...kinda like season 4 when carrie breaks up w/ aiden. [sigh] let me move on...

and lauren, this isn't an episode of project runway. i mean really. we get it, you're a "fashion designer". you can do cool things with fabric. cool. but do you really have to use the dress you're going to wear the to the ball. remember the ball? the reason why teen vogue sent you to paris? like why? you're goin to a club. have you never experienced a drunk chick spilling red wine on your dress? i did. thats why i would never wear white at a bar again. and even though your dress malfunction is the cause of you burning your dress w. your flat iron, the fact that you didn't hesitate for a second of any possible "what ifs". ay lauren ay.

whitney i love you. i love how whitney can still bitch at lauren but in a sweet whitney kinda way. did you see her response to lauren getting a new dress. classy. i would have rolled my eyes w/ a "try the curtains...imagine i'm nina garcia-not git" whitney cant do wrong in my eyes. i adore her. i think its cuz she can clearly be a model, but chooses to be behind the scenes. so humble, so lovely. whitney let' be friends.

ok, spencer is finally annoying me. like go home.

and although brody wasn't on this episode, im goin to comment on him. brody, you're not cool. and you reaffirmed that on that halloween episode from last season w/your perpetual use of "aussies" . we get it, you've been to australia and can now use their slang. and i know you're rich, and have nothin to prove, but you dress like a bum. and not cool bum. like justin-bobby has the whole bum look which works.... he doesn't take baths and wears combat boots w/ a beret. ok, i dig that. but brody, you're too pretty for that. it doesn't suit you and never well.

and you, justin bobby, from the preview, i can see youre still doin that weird dilated-undilated thing w. your pupils. it used to be cute but now its just weird.

until next time...